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My Toddler Is Driving Me CRAZY!!!

'The toddler years are always the worst but they're just a phase and you'll get through it. Be strong and stay positive...'

I read that all the time, you know in those really cool baby magazines and stuff, but that honestly doesn't prepare you for the torture that comes hand in hand with a toddler.

Rocky is an f-ing nightmare.

There I said it...

He and his ability to throw, break, ruin or draw on things, scream at nothing and to NEVER sleep, is driving me bloody crazy and I want to f-ing scream...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I'm an awful mum, I shouldn't admit my frustrations and when asked I should smile sweetly like a Stepford wife and say...

'Oh he's amazing, he's been sleeping through the night since he was only a few days old and he is perfectly well behaved, especially in public...'

...and all that competitive parent bullshit BUT he's not and he doesn't and I don't give a shit if you hate me for it because really, I know that you are too sat there, right now, being hit around the head with a dinosaur or a fairy after being kicked in the head all night because they won't sleep in their own room and you're screaming inside, just, like, me!

*annnnd breathe*

So drop the fake smile, admit to yourself you are in a losing battle and pick up a cake, shove it in your mouth and DO NOT SHARE IT with the torture maker... let's face it, you deserve it, they really don't.

So here is a bit of a reality check, a bit of much needed honesty, brought to you by the amazing folks of the Sydney Philharmonia & Symphony Choirs... and Matthew Hodge for his truthful words.

O You Terror


for your ability to look into my house and mind and remind me that I am not the only one who deals with this shit. I think I love you... all of you... yeah, now I know I need sleep!