'The toddler years are always the worst but they're just a phase and you'll get through it. Be strong and stay positive...'
I read that all the time, you know in those really cool baby magazines and stuff, but that honestly doesn't prepare you for the torture that comes hand in hand with a toddler.
Rocky is an f-ing nightmare.
There I said it...
He and his ability to throw, break, ruin or draw on things, scream at nothing and to NEVER sleep, is driving me bloody crazy and I want to f-ing scream...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I'm an awful mum, I shouldn't admit my frustrations and when asked I should smile sweetly like a Stepford wife and say...
'Oh he's amazing, he's been sleeping through the night since he was only a few days old and he is perfectly well behaved, especially in public...'
...and all that competitive parent bullshit BUT he's not and he doesn't and I don't give a shit if you hate me for it because really, I know that you are too sat there, right now, being hit around the head with a dinosaur or a fairy after being kicked in the head all night because they won't sleep in their own room and you're screaming inside, just, like, me!
So drop the fake smile, admit to yourself you are in a losing battle and pick up a cake, shove it in your mouth and DO NOT SHARE IT with the torture maker... let's face it, you deserve it, they really don't.
So here is a bit of a reality check, a bit of much needed honesty, brought to you by the amazing folks of the Sydney Philharmonia & Symphony Choirs... and Matthew Hodge for his truthful words.
O You Terror
for your ability to look into my house and mind and remind me that I am not the only one who deals with this shit. I think I love you... all of you... yeah, now I know I need sleep!